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Poll

Come on Get Happy

 

 

5 things all happy people do.


If you’re looking for the secret of happiness, look no further.  Research suggests there are a number of things all happy people have in common.  Now it’s time to crack the code and spread the positive knowledge.  Use these hints and you could start counting yourself among the happy people.

Happy people find their most golden self.  Picture happiness. What do you see? A peaceful soul sitting in a field of daisies appreciating the moment?  That kind of passive happiness is important but researchers now believe that striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential may be even more important.  In Aristotle’s time the Greeks believed that each child was blessed at birth with a personal daemon embodying the highest possible expression of his or her nature. One way they envisioned the daemon was as a golden figurine that would be revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap pottery (the person's baser exterior).  The effort to know and realize one's most golden self—"personal growth," in today's lingo—is now the central concept of this type of well being, which has also come to include continually taking on new challenges and fulfilling one's sense of purpose in life.  People who could find this often weighed less, slept better, had fewer stress hormones and markers for health disease. 

They design their lives to bring them joy.  It may seem obvious, but people who don’t devote enough of their time to things that bring them joy are far less happy than those who do.  Think of everything you did yesterday.  How much of it could you say you really enjoyed?  Remember, you have the power to design and control your happiness in a much bigger way than you may be doing. 

They avoid "if only" fantasies. If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking.  In fact, the latest research shows that people are remarkably bad at predicting what will make them happy.  People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their life—it's called the focusing illusion.  In one study, single subjects were asked, "How happy are you with your life in general?" and "How many dates did you have last month?" When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed. Think about that the next time you have tunnel vision about a certain aspect of your life.

They put best friends first. It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts.  Compared with dashing around chatting with acquaintances, you get more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend.  One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship, findings suggest, is simple companionship, "just hanging out," hitting the mall or going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.


They allow themselves to be happy.   As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun.  Some people would say you shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care but even the Dalai Lama believes you should pursue both simultaneously. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents. 


Source: oprah.com